deli
devilish
deliciousness
...mmm, grammar.
spelling gives me a boner. word play. talking and whispering and storytelling and salacious words on paper and flickering whispers of delectable vocabulary going in and out of my ears. all night long like lionel.
is everyone retarded these days?
the official word is in: YES, everyone is retarded. my mom asked me the other day if i still read books; i wanted to cry. are you kidding me? she is so worried about no one reading books anymore- i totally understood why she asked. it's my age and my lackadaisical attitude that have her paranoid. when i stop reading i stop being able to ground myself. most nights i have to read for a long while before sleeping. i can't meditate, i want to lose my mind watching my breath. i hate sitting still. but a book can make me.
but no one reads anymore! when i see a kindle i immediately want to "kindle" a fire and throw that fucker on it. oh, here's a nice oak tree in a field on a hot summer day, i'm just going to stretch out under it for an hour with my kindle. and when i want to take a snooze i will fold my kindle over my face and fall asleep with my arms behind my head. and when my eyes fail at age 52 because i have plugged my life into a screen for ten hours a day for the past three decades straight i will pick up a pen (what is that anyway?) and blindly carve "i love my kindle" into my chest before i kick out the chair.
>>>>>>DOUCHE BIGELOW<<<<<<<
seriously though, we need to get back to basics. after slaughtering my liver for the past few months- fine, ten years- i have this overwhelming urge to just clean myself out. no, i'm not talking about a life sized douche bag. i already have lots of those as my best friends, and they help, but I'M TALKING ABOUT REALLY AND TRULY GETTING BACK TO BASICS! cleaning out our systems and jumpstarting positivity.
here are a few micro-change ideas i have for the upcoming weeks- maybe you can try them too!
1. first thing in the morning, have a hot water with a big squeeze of lemon. it is stab-out-your-eyeballs boring but will send you running to the bathroom since it goes directly through you to stimulate digestion. coffee, while tasting bonerific, is dehydrating and won't help your intestines one bit.
2. have a big raw lunch. we are talking veggies here. salad, nuts, seeds, unlimited vegetables and whatever dressing you want (as long as it's not out of a bottle people! NO NO NO processed shit). this will make your afternoon crash-free. a great dressing is olive or avocado oil, grainy mustard, maple syrup, lemon, and a little balsamic. add some dairy free mayo if you want it creamy.
3. tell your friends you are not boozing right now! this is the hardest thing to do, ever. alcohol and its frisky cousin tobacco seem like the life of the party but seriously, i've been off smokes for a week and i feel better than i can remember in ages. even a week, two weeks, a month without the sugar and additives in alcohol will give your bod a rest. you'll be thinner and have more energy within a few days. and you will have to fill the hours with other things- productive things even!
4. do something nice for someone random every day. this really works- whether it's an honest compliment, a door hold, letting someone in front of you in traffic, a hug, asking a question and listening to someone who needs it, buying a little treat, or whatever comes naturally- it should be natural for all of us but we don't do it, and once you do it, you do it more and more.
5. make your own meals. this saves so much money it's fucking ridiculous. and makes you thin. if you do have to eat out, skip the meat and dairy (grilled organic fish if you must).
6. take yourself on a date. do something YOU want, just for YOU, without telling or inviting anyone else. this is very hard to do. turn off your phone and go to a movie, a gallery, browse magazine shops, walk on the beach with your ipod, do a drop in dance class, get sorbet and sit on the waterfront people watching.
7. make a playlist of ten songs you find inspiring and amazing and energizing- and listen to them throughout the day. you may want to lock yourself in the house and dance around for a while.
8. book a ticket to do something in the future. a little concert with cheap tickets, a night away out of town, a sporting event, a plane ticket, a wine tour, a speaker or comedian coming to town. whatever it is, however inexpensive it might be, it will give you something to look forward to.
9. phone someone you've been meaning to and make them feel loved. an old friend, a teacher from a few years ago you were inspired by, a cousin with a new baby, a grandmother, a family friend. let them know you are thinking about them and it will make them feel like less of a loser (evil laughter).
10. try a new type of exercise. last week i started hula hooping lessons! we listen to techno and hula hoop for an hour- the hippie factor is awesome, plus the heart rate is massively elevated, and you get to tell your buddies you can use a hula hoop on your arm and your waist at the same time and see their eyes go all wide and concerned.
so fresh and so clean clean
this is a new year so lets not do the mess around anymore.
we owe it to ourselves to at least rest our systems once in a while.
i'm choosing monday morning to start.
i may be blogging a lot more since all my friends are alcoholics and they don't like me when i turn into a dorkasaurus.
onwards and upwards i (we) go.
No comments:
Post a Comment