If the writing is good, it is such a pleasure.

If the writing is bad, get it out.

this must be new to me! i have lost it!

come in to my world, my mind, and my keyboard. See the dust settled.

inhale one strong breath and blow for me. blow onto me, into my lungs, until they open for you.

i want to get pumped up by you, and your life force! Be generous to me and i’ll heal you too. I need to be cared for, to be pushed. i’m dying to be on fire again. please don’t let this computer die, or my mind wither. my organs are starved of creative life. i need it back, i twitch inside my mind until i fall asleep, and then i twitch in my dreams. Iiam dying in the desert, it’s a five, six, seven year draught. please, water me.

this is such amazing pain, and such fun to reread. these exercises bring me back, they do! ive been writing again! and reading ________’s blog, a joy, like two kids doing what they have always wanted to do, only older now and on the cusp of a new decade. i’m thirty years old and that means nothing anymore. it used to mean fear, or being uncomfortable. NOW IT IS NOTHING. no, i’m not afraid. i’ve seen older people that hate themselves but i will just keep writing, beucase when i stop, that’s when i’m afraid. i can’t keep going on these fumes. i’m time travelling back five, six, seven years. Ii love to travel, but this is not for pleasure, it’s for my life. it’s for meaning, for intensity, for feeling. it’s for wanting to be alive again. it’s for every minute i haven’t wanted to do anything. Ii’s for not caring. it’s for thirst, and it’s for me,and i'll bring it back to you.