i can't say i'm tempted to go the whole nine yards, but damn! i'd love to slap the shit out of someone right now.
how's that for christmas spirit?
annnnd NOW, what you've all been waiiiiiting forrrr.....THE RANT!
i made a vegan chocolate ganache for dessert last night as one of the christmas dinner contributions. one of the guests at the party (ok, a VERRRRRY CLOSE RELATIVE) sneers openly at my non meat and non dairy lifestlye all the time, which normally rolls off me. i can make anything savory taste delicious but i am the first to admit that baking does not exist in my world, so i was a tad concerned about my ganache holding up against all the other delectables (coconut macaroons hand dipped in chocolate and a luscious cherry trifle made with love by my adorable cherry tart of a mama). when you cook and eat outside the box you are subject to commentary, and if an offering you put up is sub-par it pretty much murders any credibility for vegan food forever in the minds of doubtfuls. normally i say "bring it on" and welcome the challenge but in the spirit of christmas (and wanting to avoid criticism of my ganache) i was hoping for a pass last night.
i got one, which shocked the shit out of me. i was not blown away by my dessert and no one else was either, but half of it was eaten and it complemented the other sweeter offerings, so i was happy. the relative i was so sure was about to publicly thrash my dessert held her fire! yay.
then this morning i got the predicted ball-breaking:
SEXANDSLANDER: "ok ma, i'm going to take home the rest of the ganache."
RELATIVE: "you mean GA-NASTY???"
ok, i'm blowing off steam here on the damn computer and not at the gym punching a bag with a picture of her face glued on it- meaning i'll be over it soon- but is anyone else with me in thinking it's a little unneccessary to say those words to me? it was christmas day and we'd just enjoyed a fantastic brunch-raping and present opening and my heart was very full and content at that moment. it made me feel so taken down, deflated, and disappointed.
i try to give compliments when they jump out of my lips naturally, and swallow personal critiques when they slime up my throat. and now i'll try even harder to do the latter.
so i'm not going to be competing on "masterchef- baking vegan edition". i'll just be trying to follow basic two ingredient recipes and possibly failing. but who cares? i create my OWN food and my OWN ideas and i try to OWN my OWN happiness and let no one else's opinions OWN me.
and now i will just let this go. after all, i didn't stay up all night worshiping the church of satan for nothing. i'm a better freak than i was yesterday.
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